Tour de Splash Pad 2015

#Lifewithmother has moved

Hey friends!
If you are following for the #lifewithmother, I want to let you know that I have set up a site specifically focused on the #lifewithmother lifestyle.

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See you around the mug,
Taylor

Why 2-Year-Olds Are Bad For The Economy

Two-year-olds really are terrible civilians.  They're bad for the business. They're loud, rude, wasteful and lack an overall awareness for hygiene.  The rest of us spend all of our time cleaning up after the two-year-olds, only to find our efforts are futile because the next mess has already been made.

Due to these toddlers' inability to function as a normal persons in society, here are three reasons why they actually inhibit economic growth.

1. Waste. 
We might as well start off with the doozy.  Waste comes in many forms: actual shit, throwing their food on the floor, throwing my food on the floor, spilling the dogs food on the floor, spilling entire bottles of bubbles on the floor, breaking the new table, pummeling through my makeup drawer and any other wasteful spillage you can think of which a two-year-old may do out of shear pleasure.  Maybe they do it out of spite, but by judging on the overly optimistic grin on her face, when my two year old sheds any form of waste, it seems to be from a place of happiness.  This overall wasteful bliss causes parents to regretfully throw all of their hard-earned money into the trash can, and therefore leaves less money to spend on other fruitful things which could boost the economy.

2. Intolerance for sitting.
Due to their inability to sit still for more than 60 second increments, dramatic tantrums and overall disregard for other people, two-year-olds cause the adults in the household to never leave the house.  What time was once spent on dinners out and trips to the other 49 states is now spent wasted away at home.  Less money is put by the parents into supporting other businesses, and therefore the economy suffers once again.  Strike two for the two-year-old.

3. Germs.
A better term for "Toddler" would be "Pig Pen".  Two-year-olds are attracted to filth.  Much like the aptitude for spillage, they also have an insanely natural ability to collect dirt and illness.  From sticking each other's pacifiers in one an other's mouth to coughing directly into mom's eye to barfing all over dad's office (true story), two-year-olds  are bound to make their adult caretakers sick a ridiculously increased amount of days out of the 365 day year.  More time sick = less time working on productive things and therefore (you guessed it), a bruised economy.

Three strikes and you're out, kids.

Okay, so there has to be a bright side to all of this, right? It's not all doom and gloom.

You are correct.  The makers of detergents and antibacterial products are making out like a tall dog in a meat market.  Plus, those damn two-year-olds are super cute.  Those little cheeks and silly attempts at saying words sure do something for us. We must keep them around for something?  True.  They are adorable and they do warm our hearts.  But, I think the brightest thing about all of this is that eventually the two-year-old will grow up and out of their terrible twos to become a four, five, and six year old (and so on) -- ages which present new levels of poor economic conditions, to be discussed in a later post.

To Work Or Not To Work...

That is the question you may be grappling with.  Perhaps you just had a baby and are getting ready to go back to work, but weighing your options and mulling over whether it's worth it or not. Perhaps you are expecting and not really sure what to think yet.  Perhaps you are a working parent and are finding it hard to breath and wondering to yourself if there is a better way.  Perhaps you love your working self and don't want to change a thing.

Perhaps you are looking into your child's eyes and trying to understand what they want from you.

These are challenges and internal struggles every parent faces at some point, when you have to determine how you will provide for your family financially and emotionally, and physically.  

As a woman who always thought she was dead set on having both her career and her family, my whole being was turned upside down a little when I made a decision to take a pause.  I had been a working mother for the past four years.  While I struggled with not wanting to give up my career, I also struggled with the pain of regret.  Regret for missing moments.  Regret for disciplinary issues coming to light.  Regret for not fully being present.

I share this post not to tell anyone what to do.  Every family is different.  Every financial scenario is different.  Every parent is different. To each his own.

I also recognize that not every parent has the option to stay home.  I can't even imagine how hard it is to be a single parent, for example, and I feel for those moms and dads.

I share this in the small chance that another parent reading--who may be in a similar situation and grappling with this life changing decision--may find some comfort in my story and having someone else's perspective. If you are contemplating whether to have a stay-at-home parent for your family, I hope my experience can help you in your decision.  Ultimately, you have to evaluate your situation and choose what works for you.

These are the four things things I evaluated and used as a tool for making the decision to leave the workforce:

1: On the surface, the money looked great, but it wasn't really that great.

This is one of the biggest reasons I left, so I'll spend a little more time on this one.  The hubs and I had talked about all of the emotional reasons to leave.  But, we needed to look at the numbers.  So we turned it a numbers game.

My salary looked great on paper. But, what was I really taking home?  It was time for a spreadsheet.  Once all of the data was in there, what we saw was shocking.  When you looked at everything we were spending to pay for a full-time nanny, a night nanny for when I traveled, the high tax rate my paycheck was taxed at, and things like social security and unemployment taxes for the nanny, taxes, taxes, taxes, blah, blah blah...when you added all of that together and subtracted it from my pay, the remaining number sucked.  Bad.  And, sending two kids to a full-time preschool wasn't going to cost any less.

I just wasn't bringing home the bacon  in the way I thought.

After all that, I made $15,000 a year.  That was what I took home to "pay the bills".

After all the late nights and early mornings catching up on email, the stress, the guilt, the marathon days of back-to-back meetings, and everything it takes to climb and succeed on the corporate ladder, I made $15,000 a year.

Seriously.

And on top of that, because neither the hubs nor I ever had time to do anything for ourselves, we decided to pay up for premium services.  Things like dinner were becoming very expensive because we picked up takeout five nights a week or went to Central Market and got all the fancy prepped foods.  We paid someone to do our laundry for a while.  Seriously.  We did.  She would come over a couple of days a week and just do our laundry.

We paid for everything.

It was all sort of stupid, really, and we still weren't truly happy.  We were fake happy.

I decided that the stress wasn't worth it.  To me, fake happy wasn't worth it, so I chose to give up the premier laundry service along with the regret.  I knew we'd have a lot less to spend on babysitters and going out, and some of those finer things in life, but it would be worth a shot to find our real happy.

Tip: If you, too, are contemplating a shift from full-time work to full-time parenthood, crunch the numbers.  In business, my clients and I always talked about how we needed to look at the data to help drive our decision.  It's no different here.  You should look at your data.  After all the childcare expenses are said and done, is what you have left worth it?

2: Structure and focus.
I've mentioned structure in another post and will reiterate.  Mary Poppins is a movie and Super Nanny is a TV show.  I don't think there is any one nanny or mother (or father) out there who can be either of these characters 100% of the time.  And, no matter how awesome a childcare provider is, they aren't mom or dad.   No one except for mom and dad has skin in the game in the same way.  Therefore, no one will give the same level of focus as mom and dad.

When kids spend their day being shifted back and forth between mom to nanny to preschool worker to babysitter and back to mom (and dad), there are many opportunities for confusion introduced.  All of this shifting causes more opportunities for parents and caretakers to not be on the same page, and therefore, I believe it causes a lack of focus.  The child may be told not to do something by one person and that it is alright to do that same thing by another adult.

When kids are confused, they behave badly.  (And, I don't wish that upon anyone.)

When I took a step back and really took a good look at how my little people were reacting to their environment, it wasn't good.  They wanted so badly to be with me, that they acted out a lot to get my attention.  I let them get away with things out of guilt and ultimately they were running amok.

They really weren't well behaved at all.  And, they weren't even happy in their muckiness.  I could tell.  They were telling me with their eyes. They needed me.  They needed to have that one person to set the ground rules and have the time and energy to actually stick to those rules.  They needed a parent.  They needed focus.

They were craving it.

3: The corporate world will be there when I'm ready again
I think all of this crap that we women feed ourselves and feed each other about how difficult it will be to go back to work is just that.  It's crap.  Are you good at your job?  Are you going to work hard and own it when you go back?  Perfect.  You'll be good when you're ready to go back.  If you are confident in what you do, I do not think you will have a problem.

I was great at my job.  And, I'll be great when I'm ready to go back.

I'm not going to get mom brain.  I'm not going to become an idiot over the course of this two to three year pause.  In fact, maybe I'll even become better and stronger as an individual.  I mean, kids are not exactly a walk in the park.  I finally told myself that all of the hogwash about losing my "it" factor at work was just hogwash and I needed to let that way of thinking go.

4: I can't buy my children's happiness. 
Small kids don't care about money. They have no concept of money.  It doesn't matter to them.
Buying them the best new toy doesn't matter if I'm not there to play with them. They don't care if someone else is doing the laundry.

They don't care about my perfectly manicured feet.  They care about spending time with me.

Time.  Kids care about time, not money.  So, I decided to give them my time.  I decided to give them my focus.

I decided to get them to our real happy.

P.S. So far, we're loving it. 

Don't Expect Nice Things

Oh, so you're expecting a little Junior here shortly? How sweet.  Being pregnant really stinks.  Holding that little babe in your arms and not on your bladder will be a welcomed reprieve from the last nine months.  And, you must be sooooo excited to get back your pre-baby body, really rock that swim suit this summer, and wear pants without an elastic waste?

Don't hold your breath.

Don't expect nice things.

I held my breath.  Twice.  If the third time is a charm, maybe I need to have another kid just to see if I really learn my lesson the next time around.

Look, I'm not trying to be harsh.  I just want to shoot you straight.  Otherwise, you'll just become depressed when your beach body isn't back in no time and your skinny jeans take a little longer than expected to get back into.

No one ever shoots a pregnant woman straight.  Why? I'm not sure.  I guess we just want to be nice and not scare her.  But, I don't see it as scary, but more as preparation. I wish someone had the gumption to shoot me straight.  At least I would have held onto those elastic wasted pants a little longer instead of shooing them out of my closet so quickly.

So....just don't expect nice things.  Because those nice clothes you used to wear..well, they'll just be full of crap all the time.  Whether it's the smell of soured milk (yes, that's what it smells like when you have a leak), marker, snot, apple sauce, poop or your own coffee, there will always inevitably be something spilled down your shirt.  Don't buy nice shirts.  If you do, only wear them to work or when the babysitter is taking over.  Let me repeat: Do not wear nice clothes around your children.

You may be thinking, "But my friend Tina just had a baby and looks awesome."  Well, screw Tina. Tina is a miracle.  Tina was also anorexic before having Junior.  We're not all miracles.  You can pray for a miracle, but just don't hold your breath. The weight will come off, but you'll have to eat less, and your stomach and hoohah will just never be the same.  You may only wear one pieces from now on. Don't expect nice things.

Don't buy nice furniture. 

Let me tell you a story about a beautiful little table that I bought recently.  It wasn't bought on a fancy budget, but it looked fancy.  It had a nice little mirrored table top.  I was really enjoying this table.  You didn't even need a coaster! It was like a dream come true in mommy world.  The kids couldn't leave rings if they wanted to.  Ha ha, got you kids!

Wrong.  BAM.  2-Year old pushes it over.  Shattered all over the living room were tiny glimpses of what was once a beautiful drink-ring-free table.  The 2 yr old cries, I yell ever word in the book, the 4 year old covers his ears because I'm yelling and the table is still broken.  But, I should have known. I didn't learn my lesson the time yogurt was spilled on the chair.

Luckily, for me, my brother is a carpenter and made me a lov-erly wooden top to fit.  Some day, I'll get around to painting it and the children will get around to leaving sweat rings on it.

Let them fall

Within reason.

Bound to fall

Let them make a mess sometimes. Let them choose their clothes.  Let them try. Let them have a grumpy day. (We have them.)

This one goes out to all the ladies who feel so stressed out by the constant need to protect and be two steps in front of your child at all times.  Our brains never get a rest with the constant worry and fear.  We go to bed fearing we're not doing the best we can, and we wake up fearing what dangerous activity will our child partake in today.  (I've got a toddler who climbs on everything.  She's like a spider monkey.  I know this fear.)

Our kids are a lot like our men.  We ladies want to mold them and shape them and change them into what we want them to be.   But, they are who they are and you're not going to change who he his.  But, you can guide each other, together.

My point? I think we tend to do this with our kids, too.  We want to shape them so much.  We want to protect them so much.  We compare our kids to our friends' kids, right?  It's the head game you play with yourself: "My kid's not talking as well as Sally's kid".  Or, "That little Johnny is already counting to 100 in Spanish. (And mine can only count to 20.)"

Or it's the actual "No Sam! Don't climb the slide. You could fall."

C'mon...,you know you've done it.  Just admit it.

I call this hypermom syndrome.  And I've certainly had my moments. I think we all have our days.

I encountered a particularly hyper hypermom this week and it stood out.  It was one of those moments where I just wanted to go up to her and say to her: "It's OK.  He will be OK. Take a deep breath.  Oh, and calm the f down, lady."  But, I'm fancier than that, and I didn't.  I merely thought it and played up a whole scene in my head of how the conversation would go down.

We were at this indoor play place for toddlers--so the place is like locked-down child proofed.  She had a precious little rambunctious 2 year old boy. He was your typical full-of-energy 2 yr old boy.  Well behaved. He wasn't throwing fits or anything. My son and this boy started interacting and were playing together.  They were having a great time and playing chase; doing what little boys do and playing very well together.

I'm sitting there thinking, "Great, he found a friend."

But, her....you should have seen the stress levels rising.  She was freaking out inside.  I could just see it in her eyes and the nostril flare.  She was a footstep behind him this whole time they were running, and finally told him to stop running because he would fall.

Stop running in a place designed for kids to run around in? Really?  HYPERMOM. To the max.

Please don't be this hypermom.  Really.  It's not good for anyone.

Children should have some freedoms to explore.  They should have some freedom to fall every once in a while, and learn from it.  And, you should give yourself some mental freedom to relax a little and sit on the sideline observing every once in a while.

Guide them, but don't put them on a leash.  They go at their own pace and by exploring their world, they will pick up on things faster. And that, my friends, is when they will pleasantly surprise you and say something or do something amazing, of which you didn't think they were capable.

Running with friends is a normal childhood behavior.  Running with scissors is not.  So, you take the scissors away but don't cease the running.

What Toenails and Budgets Have In Common

I feel snotty saying this, but I haven't painted my own toenails in...well...a while.  I could say that I just don't do as good of a job or that it's "me time", but really I've chalked it up to pure laziness.  In the hustle and bustle of what kids, work and house drained of me, I just didn't feel like touching my own feet. So I paid someone else to do the dirty work. Total. Utter. Laziness.

But, with a shift from working mom to full-time time, the household budget will be tighter and I can't just throw money at problems anymore.

(Yes, the state of my toes was something I saw as problematic.  And, my sweet friends who work at the nail salon sure thought so too--they never let the opportunity of the callous treatment upsell go. Just ask my husband. Yikes.)

Although I hate the term "Do It Yourself" and you won't find me suddenly hanging out at The Home Depot on the regular, I am going to have to get a little more crafty and creative to get things done and keep the kids entertained.  Being married to someone who works in finance, LOVES spreadsheets and could squeeze a penny into its liquid state if he wanted, I've learned a thing or two about budgeting over the years. (If you're reading this, honey, that's a compliment and I love you.)

So, in the spirit of sharing and helping others through my experiences, I'll share my five top tips on budgeting while maintaining a decent level of fun in your life. These can apply to anyone whether you're married with children, a couple of DINKs or single.

1. You need a budget. 

If you don't have one, make one.  Not having a budget is just silly and reckless.  I've said this to my clients many times and now I'll say it to my readers: Set yourself up for success.  If you don't know what a budget looks like, google "budget spreadsheet".  There are all sorts of free templates out there you can use to get started; then, all you have to do is tweak it for your scenario.  The process of creating a line item for every single thing you spend money on each month can be very eye-opening.  As part of the process, be sure to tag things (this can be a column in a spreadsheet) as required or not required.  For example, electric bill would we marked required and gym would be marked as non-required.  This is where you have to sort of play hardball with yourself.  It doesn't mean that you are going to drop the unrequired items from your budget, but it does mean that you have to be able to recognize what TRULY is required and what is not.

2. Admit your vice. Then budget for it.

Determine if you want to hold on to this vice or not.  If you can't give it up, well, put it in the budget and remove something else to make it fit.   We all have one--whether it's the eating out, daily trip to the coffee shop (yep, that's mine), the pedicures (OK, that was mine too, but that one has to go), or the titty bars (not mine), you need to determine how important this is to you and choose to either factor it in (admitting the vice) or let it go.

3. Give yourself a "fun money" allowance and make sure it has a monthly cap.

This is something we started doing a couple of years ago in my household and it just takes all of the arguments away. I give the hubs full credit for the idea, and it was a great one.  He gets a certain amount each month for whatever the hell he wants to spend it on, and so do I.  We chose the amounts based on our household budget and our needs.  So, his may be a little less than hers or vice versa.  What it's done for us has been astronomical in terms of our stress levels with each other.  He doesn't bother me about my said coffee vice anymore because if that's how I want to spend my "Taylor" allowance, then that's my choice.  And I don't bother him about what he spends his allowance on.  Seriously, y'all, it just removes the opportunity for arguments over the credit card statement. Try it.

4. Look for memberships. Look for opportunity.

If there is a place where you enjoy going (or think you would enjoy) on a regular basis then look into membership programs.  This is particularly useful if you are looking for activities to do with your little ones and don't want to spend an arm and a leg entertaining them but you also don't want to just sit around your house.  Several years ago we started  to support, through a membership, our local children's museum and the local zoo. With a yearly membership of about $100 a piece, you can visit each of these places a much as you want. If you will go even just a handful of times, this is a huge savings when you compare to the cost for a single day ticket (typically around $15 per person).  Sometimes we go to the zoo 2-3 days / week.  The kids love it and I love it for the fact that I get a great cardio workout in carting them around in the stroller for several hours.  The same goes for the museum.  And, going back to the budget, it's something that we budget in. It's a line item.

This tip also applies to things like gym memberships.  Look for opportunities to pay upfront for a large discount.  For example, when looking at the gym ask if they have any option to pay for 2-3 years upfront.  Oftentimes with these deals it takes the monthly fee from around $35+/mo down to about $20/mo.  While it is a larger upfront payment, when you break it down and compare how much it will cost you over the long term, it can be a much better option if you are able to make the upfront payment.

5.  Paint Your Own Toes.

This could be mow your own lawn, cook your own food, etc.  You get the point.  Look for problems which you are "throwing money at", which you could easily do yourself.  Evaluate each of these problems.  Make a pros and cons list, including the pros for having someone else do it.  If there is something that just doesn't have enough pros, then try to make a shift and do it on your own.  At least for a little bit. Try it.  For me, I can't say the coffee habit is going anywhere.  I admitted my vice and I use my fun money for it. So I will try to let go of some of the laziness and cut out some other things, including the callous remover upsell. 

I'll close with this:  If you're looking to get smarter with your money and looking to get a better grip on your family or personal budget, try out at least one or two of these tips.  Comment back with questions and share your experiences here.

Happy budgeting.  I'm off; I've got to go fix these feet.

Defining my motherdom

Shit happens. It does.  In my house, between the two young kids, the husband and the dog, it happens quite a bit in all senses of the word.  Life changes; things happen to us whether or not we are searching for change.

I've recently experienced a large life changing event, one which I wasn't searching for but found me and I'm happy that it did.  Our children's nanny got another job.  It happens.  People move on. It's happened before.  I couldn't expect her to stay forever.  I get it.  But, it caused me to suddenly have to re-think what I'm doing as a mother and a wife and as a career woman.  How do I define my motherdom?  How involved am I?  How involved should I be? How involved can I be? Can we afford to do this? Can we afford not to?

These are all questions which suddenly had to be discussed-- in my head, with my husband, with my mom, sometimes even with the dog (he's a really good listener). It was soul searching time.  Do I find someone else?  For us, daycare wasn't an option. We had decided that early on with the birth of our first child.  Do I do it?  I was moving up in the corporate world.  But, was it really worth it all? Was it working for my family?

For me, the answer was: no. It wasn't.  We were hanging on by a thread.  I was hanging on by a thread.  I had to come to grips with the fact that if I truly wanted to define my motherdom by the core values I sold myself on, then I had to start living them.

Something had to give.

What was most challenging for me was the frank conversation with myself that had to happen.  The "Self, you just can't do it all.  It's not really possible."  I'm a dreamer, so that's hard.  I always have this big dream in my head of what I should be: a superwoman.  I think a lot of us women feel this way.  We want it all, right? I mean, who wouldn't?

But, superwoman is a cartoon character.   And I shouldn't define my motherdom by trying to live in a story world. I had to come to grips with my reality.

It's a good thing.  My cage needed to be rattled.  As much as I was trying to make everything work and be all things to all people, it just wasn't working in my household.

So, I've chosen to take the plunge into the full-time mom gig.  I've chosen to push pause and take some time to work on my motherdom.  To do so, I'm going to work on a few of things:

1. To be present.  Just be there.  I haven't really been there the last few years the way I should.  In the moment. I think I've just been consumed by my goals.  But, I want to be consumed by my goals for them, for a change.
2. Standing my ground (with the kids).  I think as a working mother I've had a lot of guilt.  There are a lot of times where I give into things out of guilt.  "I was on the road this week, so I'll let him stay up late or get her this or that treat."  I think those are appropriate things at times, but I'd let the guilt become the norm too much and I don't want to set up the wrong life expectations for them.
3. Structure.  We just need more structure in our lives.  A household with two working parents is tough, so you let things fall through the cracks.  I want to focus on filling those cracks in and providing better structure for the kids, the household and myself.  Kids really do crave structure.  But, again, out of the busy mom guilt I recognize that I just let it go too much.

A couple of months ago, I found this necklace with two little pink roses on it and it says "Mother" in old timey cursive.  I wear it just about every day now.  I love it; it's probably one of my favorite pieces of jewelry.  One day my grandmother-in-law noticed it and said, "Oh that is so pretty. Did Daniel buy that for you?"  And I replied with "No, I found it at a junk store for $5". She had a good chuckle.

"Life With Mother" was born and here I am.  As silly as it is, that little "Mother" necklace I found gave me some sort of inspiration to focus more on my motherdom.

That's me.  That's my motherdom: fun-loving, bargain-hunter, pragmatic in my parenting style.   I'm not your Pinterest, going to to post cutesy pictures of animal-shaped vegetables that I pack in my children's lunches every day kind of a mom.  I'm probably going to have a clean-enough house but nothing which you could stamp a Martha Stewart approved label on.  I'll actually start cooking, but it won't be souffles and roasts but it will be good because it will be hot and available.

Stay tuned for our adventures. I'm cooking up some interesting things for us.  I invite you to follow along on this adventure and enjoy it with us.

Achieve peer-to-peer fundraising zen

Grab some coffee and sit with me for a few minutes and think about how your year and your projects are going.  Are you adhering to the goals you had set for the year?  Or, do you feel as though things are going off the rails a bit?  At the beginning of the year, I made a resolution.  It's something that I hadn’t done in a long time.  I said I would define 2015 by focus.  I would focus on the things which matter most, recognize my capabilities and let go of the things that don't hold a lot of long-term value.  In my resolution post, I encouraged nonprofit professionals to do the same and to take a step back and focus on the strategies and projects which would yield the best results.

We're well into March now, and I figure it's a good time for a gut check on my own resolution, and a good time for organizations to be able to do the same. 

While my resolution and 2015 focus challenge was pretty generalized to online marketing for nonprofits, I would like to apply it to a specific type of fundraising, my favorite topic in fundraising: peer-to-peer. 

Question: Taylor, why did it take you until March to get focused on "focus" for your favorite fundraising topic?

Answer: I've been writing other blogs and papers.  Yes, it's definitely time for a Spring gut check. Wink, wink.

Whether you need a little a post-St. Patty's day hangover clarity or some "umph" to psych yourself up for Spring events, let's challenge each other this April to a greater level of focus for peer-to-peer fundraising in the remainder of 2015. Let's talk about three areas of focus for peer- to-peer fundraising, which everyone in the P2P space should be evaluating from time to time and zeroing in on to make sure you have laser sharp focus.  I'm talking "sharks with laser beams" focus.

Are you ready?

Focus.

Take a vow to evaluate these three things in your peer-to-peer program this year.  If you have time to make changes for Spring or Fall events, do it!  If not, at least start talking about what positive changes you can make for 2016.  Focus in 2015 to make positive change in 2016.

1. Event Sign Up Form.

Are you asking too many questions? Are you asking the right questions?  Who has time for twenty questions, anyways?  There are definitely questions you need to ask during registration.  But, sometimes I think we want to collect certain data points just for the sake of having more data.  I mean, it feels good to have more data, doesn't it?  It feels powerful sitting on top of a mountain of data, right?  True….sometimes.  It can also be overwhelming. 

Take a step back.  Focus.  Look at the data you are collecting and ask yourself this question: Am I doing anything with this data?

Focus in on the data which you are using.  Is it useful?  Or, is it time to re-evaluate the data you are asking for during your registration process?  A clunky registration process-- one due to too many unnecessary questions -- can be the stopping point for people.  If it's too difficult or asks just a hair too much personal information (information which seems unnecessary), people can and WILL walk away.  I know.  I've done it. 

It's easy to walk away at the beginning of a relationship.  So, don't give people that as a choice.  Ask what you need to ask, questions which seem relevant to the reason for which someone is signing up for your event, and don't ask a lot else.  Well, at least not in the beginning.  There are always ways and touch points to get at that additional data later.  Profiling campaigns and surveys within your online participant fundraising center and personal touch points like phone calls are great opportunities to tap into the more personal information you need to help build the individual relationships  you have with your participants. 

2. Event Program (and distances). 

With your event, are you trying to be all things to all people? Or are you sticking to your guns and keeping with the original spirit and format of your event, and your mission?  Over the years, I've had some interesting conversations on this particular topic with a variety of organizations evaluating a variety of events.  Questions like this come up: Should we add more distances?  Should we change the fundraising minimums?  What always seems to come to the surface is that when you try to be too many events in one, or cater to too many people, you can dilute the mission of the event.  You can dilute the original target market for your event.   The cheerleaders who once signed up for your event because it was focused-- very specific either around the event itself or the mission-- eventually become confused or bored.  And who wants to hang out with a bunch of bored cheerleaders?

Don't lose those cheerleaders.   Don't let them find a new challenge.  Keep them coming back to your event by sticking to your guns about what your event is and what your event isn't.  Keep them excited about recruiting new cheerleaders.

Focus.  Look at your event.  Are you trying to be too many events in one?

3. Coaching In Segments. 

In the same manner that segmenting your online fundraising campaigns is vital to keeping your reader's interest and building upon your relationship with them, peer-to-peer coaching communications require the same level of thought.  It's pretty simple, really.  If I'm a team captain, I want news and information pertinent to team captains.  If I'm an event volunteer, I want to know what volunteers need to know.  If I'm an individual participant, I want to know how I can make a difference on my own, and perhaps I want to know how I can get tapped into the event network or meet a team to join.  Event segmentation doesn't even have to be that complicated.  If you are looking for a started, one of the simplest distinctions to make is this: Did the participant sign up as individual, member of a team, team captain or volunteer.   From there, you can look at things like event participation type, fundraising goals and milestones as they are achieved to get even more targeted.  

When you have an hour to block off, grab a coffee, take a walk, sit down in a comfy chair and meditate a little on these three things.  Thing about what is going well and what is not going well and determine how you can adjust your focus and fine-tune.

You can achieve peer-to-peer fundraising zen.  This is your year. 

Is Your Nonprofit Crowdrisking?

Every day we have to make choices and weigh the risks associated with our decisions.

Even the simple things we do involve some variation of risk: Should I get in my car and drive to the store?  I could get in a car accident, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take because I need groceries. Should I cross the street on the way to work? I could get hit by a bus, but, that’s a calculated risk I can mitigate. Should I  drink as much coffee as I do? Probably not, but for me the health risk is definitely worth the reward! These are all decisions we must weigh.

Each day nonprofit organizations must calculate risks.

Should we put funding toward a program that supports a controversial issue?  We have to protect our brand, but this issue is at the heart of our mission.  Should we spend the time and effort on this project or that project? What if it doesn’t pan out?  Donor dollars are at risk. Should we update our software systems? The old system works, but it takes me a day to build a report. The new software will take some time, money and training. But eventually that report will only take ten minutes to build and run.

And what about crowdfunding?

What about the risk of fraud?  An individual could claim to be raising money for a good cause while pocketing the money for themselves. It’s still a little bit like the Wild West out there, without a ton of guardrails in the landscape to (air quote) keep the order. Supporters could become fearful that their money is not really going to the right place.  Organizations have to combat that fear, and protect their name.

Does crowdfunding really do the most good?

Individual fundraisers may not be as equipped and experienced in fundraising. You could argue that money going to a crowdfunding effort may be better allocated and spent if it went directly to a nonprofit organization who specializes in that particular cause. And there is the one-to-many argument. While a crowdfunding site only helps one person in need, nonprofits are prepared to help many.

Think about the positives:  Anyone, anytime, anywhere can raise money for a personal need or for an organization’s work.  Anyone, anytime, anywhere can make an impact for good. With all of the bad stuff going on in the world, and the daily pressures and risks, this is something positive. It’s something that can give us hope, motivate us and have a positive financial impact on a bad situation. Nonprofit organizations are at a distinct advantage in the crowdfunding space over any individual or for-profit crowdfunding venture.  Nonprofits have reputation and brand loyalty. Nonprofits not only have experience in raising funds but in distributing those funds for maximum impact.

So, if you are a nonprofit organization the question is not: Do we support and/or promote crowdfunding.  The question is: How do we support crowdfunding? How do we get in on this, properly?  How do we take the risk in a calculated and thoughtful manner? How do we get in on what’s hot, but protect ourselves from any possible heat if someone were to commit fraud via a crowdfunding website?  Crowdfunding is a sort of popularity contest, too.  How do we compete with the cool kids and their heart-wrenching stories?

Here are 3 things you can do to embrace crowdfunding for little risk and great reward.

Get in on what’s hot, but stay out of the heat.
Be thoughtful about which crowdfunding websites you promote. Do your research. Is there capability for individuals to create a fundraising page and take the money for themselves? Or, is the process for taking the money going through a more stringent and vetted process? Does the individual set up a direct link to their bank account, or do they select an organization from a dropdown list so that  donations to go directly to the nonprofit.

If you haven’t already, look into Everydayhero. Everydayhero has the guardrails in place for your organization’s protection.  Everydayhero has a stringent vetting process for donation recipients. Any fundraiser can set up a fundraising page, but fundraisers themselves cannot receive money directly. Fundraisers only have the option to select a vetted nonprofit organization, to which the Everydayhero team then disperses the money. You cannot control all of the crowdfunders out there, but you can choose which crowdfunding sites you publicly acknowledge as credible AND SECURE sites for your donors to use.

Be smart about branding. 
Don’t try to control the crowd or put a damper on their passion. Instead, use your brand, reputation and communication opportunities to steer them in the right direction. What does this mean? Talk about crowdfunding.  Talk about how those passionate about your work can help and be a part of it.  And, show them the best avenue in which to do that. If you have a branded peer-to-peer fundraising website for “do it yourself” fundraising pages talk more about it. Push people in that direction. In your online marketing efforts talk about that site as a crowdfunding opportunity and the benefit of creating a fundraising page with your branded, organization-run program.

Hang with the cool kids.
Exude your confidence. Think you are popular.  If you’ve been around for some time now, donors must think you are doing something right. Popularity contests are won with confidence. It is true that many of the stories you see on crowdfunding sites are extremely compelling. But, you have compelling stories too. You are a nonprofit organization. You have a boatload of compelling stories. If you are telling your story and it’s not working, then maybe it’s the way you are telling your story. Exude your confidence when you tell your story. Help people understand how you are better equipped to do more good. Tell people about your experience and the wide net you are able to cast in terms of your outreach. The new freshman might be hot, but it’s the slightly older and wiser senior who typically wins prom queen.  That girl knows what it takes.

So, what is the reward? Why focus any brainpower on this?  Why add one more thing to think about?

First, crowdfunding is going to happen with or without you. You can either determine a strategy or be left behind.  Second, think acquisition. Like any tool you use for acquisition, crowdfunding is a tool. Crowdfunding can open new doors to new relationships. It can allow you to find, meet and court passionate supporters who you maybe didn’t know existed. Put yourself out there. With the proper approach and caution, it’s worth trying.  Take the risk.